#76 How to Become a Supercommunicator

Do you ever wish you could improve your conversation skills?

Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist Charles Duhigg spent years investigating the science of communication.  In his excellent book, Supercommunicators:  How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection, he explains that during great conversations, our brains become “neurally entrained” – we synchronize with each other.  While a small proportion of people (supercommunicators) foster such connections intuitively, the rest of us can learn these skills, including:

1.      𝗥𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗴𝗻𝗶𝘇𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗿𝗲𝗲 𝗽𝗿𝗶𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆 𝘁𝘆𝗽𝗲𝘀 of conversations:

• 𝘗𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘢l – solving problems and making plans together

• 𝘌𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 – expressing feelings and seeking empathy

• 𝘚𝘰𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘭 – talking about our identities and how we relate to society

2. 𝗠𝗮𝘁𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘁𝘆𝗽𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 the other person is having.

3. Signaling that we want to understand by 𝗮𝘀𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗹𝗼𝘁𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 (supercommunicators ask 10-20 times more questions than others.)  

4.      Replacing shallow, factual questions with deeper ones by 𝗲𝗻𝗾𝘂𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀, 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲𝘀, 𝗯𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗲𝗳𝘀 𝗼𝗿 𝘃𝗮𝗹𝘂𝗲𝘀.