Do you ever struggle to get through your daily to-do list, silently berating yourself, “If only I could stay focused!”

Regardless of whether you’re longing for a new car or home, wishing to relocate or get a promotion, or hoping to improve your health or a relationship, it turns out there’s a flaw in this logic:  in general, neither positive nor negative events actually make significant, long-term changes to our happiness.

The initial weeks in ANY job can be confusing, in part because of the curse of knowledge, a cognitive bias in which experts – and seasoned professionals – unconsciously assume others understand a topic 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘸𝘦 𝘥𝘰. 

Did you set any New Year’s resolutions? 

In the US, the 2nd Friday in January is known as “Quitters Day” because many people have already abandoned their resolutions by then.

If this sounds familiar, don’t give up!

Research has shown that how you frame your goal matters…

According to Harvard’s 85-year study, what is the #1 secret to a long and happy life?

A.      Healthy diet

B.      Exercise

C.      Exposure to nature

D.      Positive relationships

As explained by the study’s director, psychiatrist Robert Waldinger, in his Ted Talk, after researchers followed 724 youth from 1938 until now, their main learning was clear: 

Think back to the most difficult experience of your life, perhaps a severe illness, an accident, a disaster, or the death of a loved one.

How did it change you?

While many people are familiar with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), a less known, yet more common experience following suffering caused by trauma is called “post-traumatic growth.”

Have you ever been in a meeting where you are discussing a new idea, project, or problem, and once a senior leader has expressed their position, you witness other colleagues quickly voicing their support – while you quietly disagree?

Imagine you want to get a busy, high profile person to speak at an event you’re organizing, and you’re worried they’ll say no. What can you do?

While you could focus on crafting a compelling request, there’s another, less intuitive strategy you might try: ask them for a small favor first, and after they agree, follow with the request you really want…

Imagine you are given a choice: you can choose to have a new boss (one you don’t know), or you can keep the boss you have. 

Who would you choose?

I’m guessing that most of you chose to keep the one you have.  

Status quo bias is the human tendency to…

Think for a second – which groups do YOU belong to?

Are you conservative or progressive? Are you religious or not? What state or province are you from? Do you have a favorite hobby or sports team?

Human beings love to categorize things – including ourselves. Social identity theory explains that…

Think back to the last time you visited your bank, doctor or dentist’s office. Did you see informational posters or leaflets? What did they say?

What – you have no idea?

One principle that behavioral science teaches is that it’s wise to assume that people are paying much less attention to our programs, materials, trainings, and emails than we’d like them to. 

Picture this: you’re invited to speak during an upcoming webinar. You’re about to confirm, when you notice the date is on a long-awaited holiday. You reread the invitation, and decide that they already have too many presenters, and you’re not really an expert on the topic. You politely decline.

Motivated reasoning occurs when we search for rational arguments not to determine what is true, or to make the best decision, but to justify the conclusion we intuitively prefer, based on our automatic emotional reaction. 

Are you ever troubled by unwanted, taboo, or frightening thoughts suddenly popping into your head? Perhaps you find yourself wondering what a stranger would look like naked, or you’re enjoying a beautiful view from a cliff and you think, “What if I just step . . . . ?”

Which of these statements better reflects you?

A:  During meetings, I often suggest questions, processes, and areas to explore, and it worries me when others aren’t assessing all the information and possibilities.

B:  During meetings, I often get frustrated with new suggested questions, processes, and topics, and try to steer the group toward making decisions.

If you selected A, you may be…

Are you trying to save money for the holidays, a new vehicle, or school expenses?

Do you ever find yourself spending money impulsively on a new gadget, clothes, or an expensive dinner, despite your savings goals?

If so, one of the culprits may be “The Cashless Effect”

Do you ever think about offering help to a stranger, or reaching out to a long-lost friend, but then find yourself holding back? Perhaps you worry your action will be awkward or misconstrued?

Try to recall your 2023 goal setting conversation with your boss. Following this conversation, did you add any objectives or activities?

Now, on the other hand, did you remove any?

My guess is that you added more than you removed.

Have you ever read How to Win Friends and Influence People? According to this classic 1936 book by Dale Carnegie, five of the six ways to make people like you (see image below) involve focusing on them.

 Over 80 years later, Harvard researchers confirmed Carnegie’s advice.

Fighting discrimination is core to Save the Children’s strategy. But what can you do when you witness bias online, in meetings, or at family gatherings? 

In her excellent book, The Person You Mean to Be, Psychologist Dolly Chugh explains you must first determine WHO you are speaking to:

Has this ever happened to you? You’re giving a presentation when you lose your train of thought. You pause for what feels like an eternity, and then continue. You spend the afternoon kicking yourself, embarrassed, ruminating on what your colleagues must think.

Well, I’ve got good news – research indicates that they probably didn’t even notice.